Scurvy Begone Airlift to Imperiled Vessel

• Posted on 18 December 2023
• By Brine Foot Jacob
• Posted in Seafaring News & More
• 0

Lard-hands Bernard was recently appointed Acting Navigator on the Good Ship Disgraced Gastropod, and wouldn’t you know it, a week didn’t pass before they had a minor collision with another ship, the Good Ship Petulant Urchin, while leaving port. Nothing too bad at the time really – it would have been little more than a fender bender if either of our vessels had fenders. Don’t put fenders on your boat. They look gaudy at best, and deeply foolish at worst. But I had a feeling something was up, so I sent my carrier pigeon Susan after the Urchin to check up on how they were doing, even though the cabin boys kept telling me we were over-reacting. Well, joke’s on them because Susan is a four-time winner of the International Non-Verbal Avian Spelling Bee, and great Caesar’s ghost, the calamity she did happen upon!

Nobody noticed at the time, but it turns out that when the Urchin was hit, the force of the impact knocked the crew’s meteorite collection loose from its display case. The biggest of these interstellar rocks was sent smashing through the ship’s store of Scurvy Begone, knocking the precious medical supplies through the floorboard cracks, down into the ship’s bilge and it wasn’t long before the rats had themselves a citrus themed feast.

Conditions on the Urchin were dire by the time Susan got there, and I can only imagine how much further the crew’s health has deteriorated in the time that Susan was arranging her alphabet blocks into just enough sentence fragments to tell us how urgent things are for those poor, sickly sailors. We hastily called up Susan’s old college study buddy, Ludmila, who, as luck would have it, is now a real mover and shaker in the Semi—Royal Order of Flying Fish Couriers. Ludmila’s team’ll have more than enough Scurvy Begone delivered to the Petulant Urchin in no time. Bravo, you heroes of delivery. Bravo.